Why have Writer Friends?

They will save you

Writers are weird creatures. We work alone and are terrified of others reading our work, and yet - we desperately want other people to read our work. Want to make a writer panic? Ask them what their book is about.

Every writer should have friends.¹ But every writer should specifically have writer friends.

Writer friends are different than book friends, who are also great and I also recommend. Book friends are great for buying and discussing books, but book friends may not be familiar with the craft of writing, or even care about it. Which is totally fine! I’m not expecting everyone who ever picks up a book to want to chat about plot, and narrative, and figurative language. That’s what writer friends are for.

Ahead, a non-conclusive list of why you, a writer, should have writer friends.

1. Community

   1. Humans are social creatures. We like to be liked. We also like to be liked in a group of people doing the things we like. Finding people with fellow interests is crucial to maintaining not only our interest in doing something (writing) but also our sanity while doing something (writing.) There are plenty of ways to meet writers: conferences, class, online, your local bookstore.² Isolation has never helped anyone long term, and being able to engage with a writing community will make your tenure in writing land longer and more enjoyable.

2. Commiseration

   1. You know what’s hard? Writing. You know what’s even harder? Trying to get published. You know what’s hardest? Trying to do all of that by yourself. Writer friends know all of this, because they are also doing it themselves. They can empathize with the insanity that is the publishing industry, because they’re trying to wade through it, too. Misery loves company, after all. But even more: they can help support you and be your own personal cheerleading section.

3. Critique

   1. Having a fellow writer read your work can be both the best and the worst thing. Great because a fellow writer will know how to critique it and provide useful feedback, but terrible because a fellow writer will know how to critique your piece and provide useful feedback. It’s an extra level of scrutiny and pressure, but it’s also a good gut check to have. Writing groups also offer accountability, because if you know someone’s waiting on your next chapter, it’s easier to actually write it.

4. Connections

   1. I really mean networking, but I already committed to the bit, so, here we are. Having writer friends means someone knows a guy. Or a gal. Or someone to maybe put you in contact with regarding your book/story/poem/etc. Fellow writers are how I got my jobs at the Community Libraries of Providence and Salve Regina, among others. Actually, now that I think about it, most of my teaching jobs have come from fellow writers. A rising tide lifts all boats, and it’ll be easier to find an editor/teacher/journalist from a pool of your writing connections than in the world at large.

5. Craft

   1. Writer friends will know at least something about the craft of Writing. For it is a craft, as much as the American educational system would like to pretend otherwise. Writer friends probably also care about the craft of writing, and are looking to get better, too. They’ll serve as inspiration, sounding boards, and commiseration all in one. So really, a combination of the first 4 items in this list - but specific to writing.

So raise a glass to your writer friends, and for those of you non-writers in the house, please don’t ask your writer friends what their books are about. Maybe just give us a well-meaning shoulder pat instead.

1. Or not. It’s your life.

2. There will always be a writer out in the wild lurking in a bookstore.